why am i always the side chick

Why Am I Always The Side Chick?

Are you the “side chick“? It’s hard being in a relationship, but not having the same rights as the main partner. You may feel lost and unfulfilled. If that’s you, this article is for you. Here, we’ll discuss why you’re stuck being the side chick, and how you can change it.

Reasons You May be the Side Chick

Do you often find yourself being “the side chick” in a relationship? You’re not alone. Let’s look into the factors that could be causing this. Why could it be happening? Maybe it feels like no matter what you do, this is your fate. But you can break the cycle! Analyzing the reasons can help you take steps to change the course of your relationships.

Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem might make you the side chick. It could mean not feeling worthy of a respectful relationship. It could also mean settling in bad relationships. If this relates to you, take time to invest in yourself.

  • Realize your value and don’t let yourself be a side chick.
  • Get help if needed.
  • Show yourself some love and respect.

Lack of Boundaries

One may find themselves as the side chick for lack of boundaries. You must be aware of your own and your partner’s boundaries. If expectations are not communicated, this can result in being second fiddle.

Also, not communicating feelings/needs can lead to one-sidedness. The other person may overwhelm you with demands, creating an imbalance.

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Finally, some may not be self-aware and engage in relationships without understanding their role. They may have an idealized vision and not take into account how others interpret their behavior. This could lead to taking on roles they didn’t intend:

Unclear Expectations

Unclear expectations can be a problem in any relationship, including the one between a man and his “other woman. Have they promised something? Are their actions backing it up? It can be tough to answer when you’re the side chick.

The guy may be vague about commitment and avoid questions about his plans. This is a major red flag. To avoid confusion, it’s important to make expectations clear. Make sure you aren’t being used. Discuss goals, wishes and wants openly before going in too deep and getting your heart broken.

Coping Strategies

Being a “side chick” is an arduous task. It can make you feel low, anxious, and depressed. It may be hard to break away, yet it is achievable. This article will provide coping strategies to help you through. Additionally, we will discuss self-care and tips to enhance your self-confidence and regulate your emotions.

Increase Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is important for having good boundaries and relationships. No matter who tries to get you to break them, recognize and accept you have the right to maintain them. When it’s low, it’s easy for someone else to control you. Here are five coping strategies to help raise your self-esteem:

  1. Say positive things about yourself. Override any negative messages with positive ones.
  2. Avoid activities that make you feel bad. Don’t do things like browse social media or comparison shop if they make you feel worse.
  3. Find people who support you. Surround yourself with family, friends, and even therapists who believe in the best version of you.
  4. Manage your time. Don’t sacrifice yourself for goals. Use spare time to take care of yourself.
  5. Have hobbies. Doing something for fun can give you a sense of accomplishment and help you separate successes from others’ opinions.
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Set Boundaries

Setting personal boundaries is key to managing your life. Boundaries are limits you decide are acceptable. They help protect your mental health, manage stress and get control of your time.

Think about what makes you drained, stressed or overwhelmed. Then figure out how to reduce or avoid it. Be honest and explain why you set limits when friends and family ask too much. Stay consistent with these limits and take time for yourself.

Enforce boundaries in a firm, respectful way. Set expectations like responding promptly and understanding changes. Healthy boundaries create an environment based on respect and meeting both people’s needs without harming each other.

Here are some tips for setting personal boundaries:

  • Be clear about what you want and don’t want.
  • Be honest and direct when communicating.
  • Be consistent in enforcing your boundaries.
  • Take time for yourself and practice self-care.
  • Respect other people’s boundaries.

Communicate Your Expectations

When a relationship fails, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. The most important thing is to stay calm. Be honest about what you need from the relationship. Communicate your expectations with your partner.

Don’t manipulate them. Be honest and responsible for how you feel. Ask your partner how they feel too. This can start a dialogue. It allows you to identify better ways of handling situations.

Don’t accuse or blame. Show respect. This encourages an open dialog and prevents emotions from running high.


Are you still asking yourself why you’re always the side chick? It’s time to pause, reflect and think about your own behavior and habits that could have caused this. There may be a complex answer, but it’s essential to acknowledge your role in the problem and find a way to make the changes needed to receive the love you deserve.

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