As a relationship blogger, I have received countless messages from readers asking about what to do when an ex comes back after pulling away. It’s a common situation that can leave us feeling confused, hurt, and unsure about what our next steps should be.
In this article, I want to share my thoughts and advice on how to handle this situation. Whether you’re still in love with your ex or you’re feeling hesitant about giving things another try, there are a few key things to consider before making any decisions. So, if you’re currently facing this dilemma, grab a cup of tea and let’s dive in.
Assess the Situation
Your partner pulling away can be tricky. Before doing anything, take a step back. What might be the cause? Think about what’s been happening in the relationship and how it’s affected him.
After considering all possibilities, you can work out the next steps:
- Identify what might be causing the issue.
- Consider how it’s affecting him.
- Think about what you can do to help.
- Find out if he’s open to talking about it.
- Develop a plan to address the issue.
Evaluate the reason for the distance
When he comes back, it’s essential to inspect why he went away. Don’t guess that it’s bad – he could just need some ‘me’ time. Or he could have real issues.
The most crucial thing is to make sure both of you are secure emotionally. If there are troubles, talk about them calmly and in the open. Speak honestly and kindly – that will make sure your relationship is safe and any problems can be talked about without judgment.
Communicate! Talk to each other often and consistently so there won’t be any shocks or mistrust. If something changes, communicate right away so both of you know what’s happening.
Identify the changes in his behavior
He’s pulled away – so, step back and note patterns. See how he talks to you, how much time he spends, if he’s checking in more or less. Taking a look at his behavior can tell you why.
Think of any events of conflict or tension before he pulled away. Are there things to work on? Figure out what was hard for him and how it pushed him away.
Listen to what he says, look at his body language and responses. He may not want to talk about it – respect that, or you could push him further away.
Communicate Openly and Honestly
When your partner moves away in a relationship, it can be tough and confusing. It’s important to talk and be open when they return. Being honest and able to explain your feelings can help heal the gap. This article will show how communication can move you both forward.
Talk to him about what you’re feeling
When he returns after pulling away, it is vital to converse openly and truthfully about how you felt during his absence. Concentrate on your feelings during the time apart – not accusations or blame.
It is essential that he comprehends what your needs are in the relationship and that you feel heard and understood.
The greatest misstep people make is pretending nothing happened when their companion returns after pulling away. Talking about what happened constructively can help each of you comprehend one another’s needs and wants, as well as enabling open communication to occur. This also provides a chance for reconnection if both parties invest genuine effort into the conversation.
It may be uneasy at first, but talking openly and honestly can help form trust between partners in a relationship, even if there is an initial disagreement or misunderstanding. Through open communication, both sides will comprehend expectations better and can cooperate to build a stronger relationship.
Ask him to explain his reason for pulling away
Once he comes back after pulling away, it’s important to ask him what led him to do so. It can be tough to open up, but it’s necessary to communicate openly and honestly. This creates understanding and helps come up with solutions.
If he has personal issues like stress or anxiety, it’s helpful to be understanding. Ask how to help him. Most importantly, create a safe, trusting environment to talk without fear of judgement or criticism. Discuss issues without blaming each other. This allows couples to find healthy solutions.
Listen to why he pulled away. Acknowledge his feelings instead of dismissing them. Understand why he needed space and why he came back. Show appreciation for his honesty by reiterating love and commitment when the conversation ends.
Trust is essential for any relationship. When your partner pulls away and then returns, it is important to work on rebuilding it. With trust, both people can feel secure in their interactions, especially with intimacy. To demonstrate reliability and dependability, it is important to rebuild trust.
This article talks about methods to rebuild trust after your partner has pulled away:
Find ways to show him you’re committed
Rebuilding trust in a relationship is a long term effort. After your partner pulls away, you must stay committed and make them feel your dependability. Here are some ideas to do this:
- Be vulnerable – If you open up communication between each other, it will be easier to talk about what caused the distance.
- Spend quality time – Make sure both of you have time apart, but also plan quality time together so they feel prioritized.
- Listen & talk – When discussing issues, listen without judging or giving advice. Focus on facts rather than attacking each other.
- Show trustworthiness – Let your partner know where you are, honor commitments and express gratitude. These small things will let them see how reliable you are!
Make sure he knows you’re there for him
If your partner has pulled away, it’s important to let them know you’re there. Even if it feels like the conversation won’t go anywhere, show them you’re willing to listen. Acknowledging their feelings and giving them time is key to rebuilding trust.
Be present in their life. Invite them out, or run errands together. Show physical affection to create a healthy environment. Let them know you still care.
Honest communication is a must, but no attacking or accusing. Talk about suggestions to fix issues and discuss changes needed to improve the relationship. This process may not be easy, but understanding and patience are essential to rebuilding trust after hurtful actions.
Take Time to Heal
If your partner withdraws, it can be disorienting and worrying. It’s often puzzling why they have chosen to move away and deciding what to do when they return is tricky. Bear in mind there’s no “perfect” way to handle it. What’s essential is to use the time to mend and get through the feelings associated with this.
Let’s look at what else you can do:
Allow yourself time to process your emotions
Give yourself some time and space to think about your own emotions. Being reunited after being apart can be exciting and disconcerting. It’s ok to have mixed emotions that need to be managed. It’s important to face all of your emotions to heal and think about how you want to move forward.
It might help to talk about what you’re feeling with a trustworthy friend or counselor who can provide support and understanding. Talking about your feelings will help you observe, understand, evaluate and express those feelings in a secure atmosphere.
Even if you both decide to start anew and move on from what happened while he was away, you both may need time to heal before the connection can be restored. It’s important to be kind to yourself during this process – it’s essential to recognize that it takes reflection and self-awareness before any changes towards another person can happen.
Spend time apart if needed
Now that your partner is back, don’t just jump in! Recognize that both of you need time and space. It’s normal to take some time alone to process. Give each other privacy, yet be there if they need to talk. If things are tense, give “breathing room” before conversations.
Invite them out for something simple, like a walk or coffee. This can help both of you talk about anything in a relaxed setting.
Take time to heal from the separation. Allow time apart, so that when together again, any issues have been worked through. That way, you can move forward feeling connected and secure.
If your partner is distant, it’s normal to feel uncertain. When they come back, you might not know what to do. But, successful relationships are possible! Communicate and understand each other to rebuild trust.
Let’s find out the best ways to move forward:
Work together to set goals for the relationship
When he comes back, it’s best to make goals together. Agreeing to stay with each other means talking about what you both need and want. Be honest but positive so you can both be heard.
Think of goals that help your relationship. It could be anything from trips, more travel or weekly dates. It could also be something harder like chores or a budget.
Finally, both of you commit to the goals and stick to them. This shows you both agree to build good habits and stay loyal – essential parts of a successful marriage or connection.
Make sure to keep communication open and honest
Open communication is key in any relationship. Respect each other’s boundaries and be open about your own. Speak honestly and without fear or shame. Express any hurt feelings without blaming the other person. Keep calm and be kind, even if you don’t agree. Everyone’s opinion counts and should be respected.
Also, pay attention to body language. Ask yourself if you’re describing your true feelings or someone else’s. Keeping communication honest can help heal relationships if both people are willing.
In my experience, when an ex comes back after pulling away, it can be a confusing and overwhelming experience. But it’s important to take a step back and evaluate the situation before making any decisions. Ask yourself why they pulled away in the first place and if those issues have been resolved. Consider if getting back together is truly what you want and if it aligns with your goals and values.
If you do decide to give things another chance, communication will be key. Talk openly and honestly about your feelings and expectations for the relationship going forward. Establish boundaries and work together to rebuild trust and intimacy. Remember that healing takes time and effort, and may require the help of a therapist or counselor. And if you decide that getting back together is not the right choice for you, it’s important to communicate that respectfully and move forward with grace and compassion.