is he testing me by pulling away

Is He Testing Me By Pulling Away?

It’s frustrating when the person you’re dating suddenly starts pulling away. Are they losing interest? Is it something you said or did? Or maybe they’re just busy? The sudden change in behavior can leave you feeling confused, anxious and uncertain.

But what if their behavior is intentional? What if they’re doing it to test your level of interest in them? It’s a common tactic used by some individuals to gauge their partner’s level of commitment. In this article, I’ll be discussing whether your partner is testing you by pulling away, and how to navigate this situation.

What Does Pulling Away Mean?

When your special someone starts to separate, it can be hard to comprehend why. They might not be talking to you, dodging your calls, or vanishing for hours. Pulling away is a way of talking and figuring out it can give you more knowledge about the relationship.

Let’s look into why this is happening and how to manage it correctly:

Signs He is Pulling Away

When your man is pulling away, it can be confusing and worrying. Pulling away is usually when someone wants to take time for themselves or when expectations are too high. Here are some signs he might be pulling away:

  • He takes longer to answer texts or calls.
  • He doesn’t start conversations, plans, or outings.
  • He doesn’t invite you out with his friends.
  • You notice he’s not telling you something.
  • He’s guarded and won’t talk about his feelings.
  • You don’t have physical intimacy.

It’s normal to need space in a relationship, but if it keeps happening, it could mean something deeper is wrong. Talk to each other to see where the relationship is and if it shall continue.

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Reasons Men Pull Away

Men sometimes pull away when in a relationship. To understand why, can help figure out how to talk to your partner. Common reasons for this might be:

  • Uncertainty: If your partner is feeling unsure about the relationship, he may back off until he feels more secure.
  • Miscommunication: If one partner doesn’t get what the other is trying to say, it can lead to one feeling unheard or left out.
  • Fear of Intimacy: Some men need time away from their partners to heal and deal with their own issues.
  • Exhaustion: Life can be overwhelming. He needs time alone to recharge and work on your relationship.
  • Shyness: If he’s shy, he may pull away when feeling awkward or unsure what to say.

It’s important to consider that there could be other motivations too. Acknowledging these emotional states and exploring why they’re happening can help both partners better understand each other’s emotional needs, which can help strengthen the bond.

What to Do When He Pulls Away

Man pull-aways can leave you befuddled. Is he testing me? Or losing interest? Various reasons could be why he is doing this. Take a step back and assess the situation. We’ll look at why he may be pulling away and what you can do:

  • He may be overwhelmed by the intensity of the relationship.
  • He may feel like he needs some space.
  • He may be feeling insecure.
  • He may be feeling pressure to commit.
  • He may be feeling uncertain about the future.

Give Him Space

When your partner pulls away, it can be difficult. Give him space. Don’t be angry or pushy. It’ll only make him feel worse. Showing respect for his need for time and space will demonstrate your confidence in the relationship.

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It also gives both of you time and space to think objectively about any problems. Distancing yourself from the situation can help to identify what needs fixing. It might be something one party needs to work on, or one needs more understanding or support.

Don’t Panic

Your partner pulling away may feel like the end. But, if nothing is obviously wrong, it’s important to not panic or think you did something wrong. Reacting angrily or desperately could push your partner away, not bring them back. Instead, communicate openly and respect their decision. You can use this as an opportunity for growth rather than destruction.

Don’t overreact!

Talk to Him

If he pulls away, it’s not always the end! It could be a sign he’s testing you. The best thing to do is talk openly about how it makes you feel. This gives him the chance to explain why and discuss how to improve things.

Having an open conversation and listening carefully is important. Create a safe space to share feelings without judgement or criticism. Encouraging open dialogue is key in any healthy relationship.

When having a conversation, stay positive and don’t blame each other. Make sure both of you have time and space if needed. Don’t push him too hard if it becomes tense. Do calming activities together like going for walks or playing board games. This way, you can put your perspective across in positive ways without over-escalating the situation.

How to Tell if He’s Testing You

Relationships – tough to know what your partner’s thinking. Is he pulling away? Testing? Let’s explore.

Behaviors, attitudes, and hints – what to look for? Is he testing you? Let’s find out!

He Asks You Questions

A man may pull away and start asking you a lot of questions. He may be curious about your thoughts on different topics. It could be about how you spend your weekends, or who your closest friends are. Men do this to see how much you care about them.

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If this questioning style seems overwhelming, it could mean he’s unsure of his feelings or the relationship. He’s testing you to see if you’re really into him. On the other hand, if answering his questions is easy, then it might not be related to his uncertainty. It could just be his way of wanting to know what’s going on in your life.

He Tests Your Patience

Your man might be testing your patience, in big or small ways. This can be a good thing, as it shows how much commitment you both have. But if the tests get too much, it’s a warning sign of trust problems.

If conversations about boundaries don’t help, consider getting counseling to work out the future of your relationship.

He Makes You Jealous

A man may be testing you if he starts to make you jealous. He might do this by giving other women attention, talking about someone he likes, or making plans without you. It’s a tricky game and can be painful if taken seriously. Think objectively and decide if it’s a sign he’s testing you for his own gain.

If a man sends mixed messages or keeps communication confusing, it could be another sign he’s testing you. He’s likely seeing how far you’ll go before leaving the conversation or relationship. Don’t feel obliged to stay; consider his pattern, and take time to evaluate your emotional health before coming back.


To sum up, it’s tough to comprehend why someone might pull away from a relationship. It may be because of physical distance, emotional exhaustion, feeling overwhelmed or simply not feeling the spark anymore. If you’re wondering “Is he testing me by pulling away?” Utilize this info to find out if his actions are to reignite the spark and keep the relationship alive or if they are actually signs of true feelings and motives.

In either case, talking directly with your partner is essential for understanding their real intentions and helping you both make informed decisions about your future together.

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