how to not be shy around your boyfriend

How To Not Be Shy Around Your Boyfriend?

Throughout my journey as a relationship blogger, I’ve encountered countless women who struggle to break free from their shyness while interacting with their significant others. We all want to feel relaxed and confident around our partners, but for some, it can be quite a challenge to let their guard down.

In this post, I’ll discuss various strategies and tips to help you overcome your shyness, enabling you to truly enjoy your time with your boyfriend. Remember, sharing the real you with someone you care about can lead to a more fulfilling and deeper connection.

Recognize Your Fear

Lots of ladies feel shy ’round their boyfriends. To conquer this, you must first figure out why. It could be due to judgment, feeling not good enough, or low self-confidence. Knowing what makes you shy is key to tackling it.

Acknowledge your fear and use that to build a trusting, open relationship with your beau.

Identify why you are feeling shy

Uncover the cause of your shyness when talking to your boyfriend! Ask yourself: Am I feeling unprepared? Worrying my conversation skills aren’t enough? Or, that I don’t have anything interesting to say or that he’ll react badly?

Knowing what makes it hard to talk to him can help you figure out which areas you need to work on. Also, see if there’s ever been a time when conversations felt easy and relaxed. What made it different then? Reflecting on past experiences can help you identify key barriers – and understanding them is the first step to having successful conversations in the future.

Acknowledge that it is normal to feel shy

It can feel like everyone’s confident, but it ain’t usually like that. It’s ok to feel shy or insecure, especially in relationships. Remember, you’re not the only one feeling shy around a bf. And it doesn’t make you any worse of a person.

Acknowledge where your shyness is coming from – it’s all good. Knowing it’s normal to be scared or hesitant sometimes can help you feel more at ease.

Take Small Steps

Getting over shyness around your boyfriend can be tricky. But it is doable! Try taking it step-by-step. Small steps can help you build confidence and break down barriers between you two.

Here are some tips for taking baby steps to get past shyness and have a more open and connected relationship with your boyfriend:

  • Be open about your feelings.
  • Take the initiative to start conversations.
  • Be honest about your thoughts.
  • Be patient with yourself.
  • Practice positive self-talk.
  • Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.
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Start by talking to him about small, casual topics

Start small. Have casual convos about sports, movies, or food. This’ll help you feel comfortable and boost your confidence. Don’t talk about serious matters. Stick to simple topics. It’ll keep you in the moment and focused.

Once you get going, move on to more personal ones; like his family and friends, or his thoughts on topics. Ask for his opinion – but don’t bring up sensitive subjects.

Ask him questions about himself and his interests

Questions about your boyfriend are a great way to get closer and start meaningful conversations. It can help you bond emotionally and learn each other’s values and hobbies. Ask him what he does in his free time. Ask about his career or educational goals and the things that inspired them. What books, films, or podcasts has he enjoyed recently? How does he stay active and fit?

By asking questions, you get to know him better. It can start an exchange of ideas and information that can help your relationship grow. Questions show that you care about his thoughts and feelings. His answers show how thoughtful he is and what interests him. Building trust is important when you’re trying not to be shy around your boyfriend.

Practice Self-Affirmations

Feeling nervous or shy around your bae? Self-affirmations can help! These statements remind you of your own worth and value. They make it easier to be confident in social situations. Here are some examples of self-affirmations and how to use them:

Remind yourself of your strengths and positive qualities

When you’re feeling anxious or shy around your boyfriend, it’s important to acknowledge the positives. Take a few moments to remind yourself of your strengths and positive qualities. This can help boost your self-confidence and open up more possibilities for meaningful communication.

Practice self-affirmation by writing down compliments that have been given to you in the past. Read these notes daily and tell yourself these affirmations out loud. Turn setbacks into learning opportunities rather than viewing them as failures. Find something positive that you can take away from every situation. These reminders of your values, worth and talents will help when you feel shy around your boyfriend, or in other social situations.

Avoid negative self-talk

Negative self-talk can be a major hindrance in relationships. To help, try practicing self-affirmations. These are statements that remind you of your worth and how capable you are of love and affection.

To get started, write down key areas of change or growth. Make two columns: one for negative self-talk, one for positive affirmations. Fill in each box as objectively as possible. Choose an affirmation from the “positive column” that resonates with you. Say it aloud when doubts arise or when talking to your partner feels overwhelming. With practice, negative self-talk will diminish and confidence will soar!

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Get Comfortable with Physical Contact

Feeling comfy with physical contact with your bf is a must for having an intimate and trusting relationship. But, this can be tricky for shy folks who feel kinda anxious or overwhelmed when starting or being in physical contact. Here’re some tips to help feel comfy with it. Let’s keep reading!

Start with small, non-intimate touches

It can be a bit scary to go from no physical contact to taking a big step in your relationship. It’s best to start small. Start with non-intimate touches like holding hands or leaning against each other while watching a movie. It might be weird at first, but it can help you feel more confident about more intimate physical contact.

If your partner initiates these types of small touches, respond with your own affectionate behavior. Even if it feels weird in the moment, remind yourself that it could be a great step towards feeling more confident about physical contact in the long run:

  • Holding hands
  • Leaning against each other
  • Initiating small touches
  • Responding with your own affectionate behavior

Gradually work up to more intimate contact

When being physically close to your boyfriend, take it slow. Not everyone is ready for intimate acts, so start small. Hold hands, give back rubs, and light hugs. Ask him what he’s ok with, and respect his boundaries. Gradually work up to snuggling or kissing.

A helpful way to get more comfortable with physical contact is to practice it yourself. Do yoga or meditate to get used to the feeling of touch and find out which touches feel good and which don’t. Ask a close friend or family member for feedback on how it feels to hug them. This way, when it comes time to be intimate with your bf, you’ll feel more familiar with it.

Physical intimacy doesn’t have to be scary if done properly. It should make both of you feel safe, respected, and loved. Make sure that any time physical contact happens, like a pat on the shoulder or sleeping together, it’s at a level of intensity both people are happy with.

Make Eye Contact

Feeling intimidated? Making eye contact with your bae can help build a stronger relationship. It gives you confidence and shows your bf that you’re comfortable. It also expresses your interest and connection and can spark conversation. Here’s how to make eye contact with your boyfriend:

Look him in the eyes when you talk

Gazing into your partner’s eyes is an amazing way to not be shy. Take time to connect with them, and breathe deeply beforehand. Eye contact helps keep conversations meaningful, and helps build trust. It also encourages honest conversations without fear of judgment. Show genuine interest and your interpersonal skills will improve. This will make it easier for him to comfortably express his concerns without feeling strange around you.

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Practice making eye contact in other social situations

Making eye contact with your boyfriend can be intimidating if you’re shy. But it’s also an important part of connecting. To get comfortable, practice making direct eye contact in other areas of your life. Start by looking in the mirror. Hold your gaze for a few seconds until you feel relaxed.

Train yourself to make stronger eye contact by speaking to someone else like a friend or family member. Maintain eye contact while they talk and during pauses. As you become familiar with it, you will gain confidence when it comes to your significant other.

Be Open and Honest

Shyness can make it difficult to communicate with your boyfriend. Remember, honesty is key for a healthy relationship. Here are some tips to help you overcome shyness and be more confident around your partner:

  • Firstly, try to build trust in the relationship.
  • Practicing daily conversations can also help.
  • Lastly, remember to be yourself and stay open-minded!

Share your thoughts and feelings with him

Opening up to someone you date can be hard. But, having emotional closeness is important for any healthy relationship. Don’t be too hard on yourself or your partner. Learning to be real and honest is key for success.

With your boyfriend, get in the habit of being clear about what you want and feel. Even if it’s uncomfortable at first, it will get simpler as you get to know each other better. Share things that make you happy or sad. Being honest makes it easier to understand each other.

What you tell him is totally up to you. When you start dating, point out the positive stuff too. It’s OK if everything isn’t perfect. Everyone has their own way of figuring out their needs in relationships.

Here are some tips to make it easier to share:

  • Observe how he reacts, give support if he looks uneasy
  • Be patient if he finds it hard to talk
  • Stick to the facts, don’t get too emotional
  • Listen carefully and comment when needed.

Don’t be afraid to express yourself

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to keep quiet. You may be scared to share your feelings with your partner, worried that they’ll judge you. But, it’s important to remember that being open and honest is an essential part of a successful relationship.

Chat to your partner about how you’re feeling and thinking. If you don’t talk about things, they won’t go away. This can cause misunderstandings and a lack of trust.

Plus, it’s ok to disagree with them. They won’t think any less of you for this. Disagreeing in a respectful way can actually make your bond stronger.

At the end of the day, communication is key. Don’t have debates full of silence or shouting. Have productive conversations and be open and honest. If there are things to discuss, bring them up in a calm but clear way. Don’t be afraid of confrontation if needed.


With practice and a healthy dose of patience, you can ditch those nerves and create an honest, vibrant relationship built on trust and open communication. It’s time to embrace your vulnerability and reveal your true self to your partner.

As you continue on your journey to becoming less shy around your boyfriend, always remember your worth and that you have unique qualities to offer. The right person will love you for you, making it easier to let go of shyness and embrace the beauty of the relationship.

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